Fixing the Broken Dating Culture in America

I recently logged into Facebook and noticed a plethora of women posting a link to a specific blog post that outlined fifteen ways we can fix the messed up dating culture we’ve created here in the states.  I’m going to refrain from posting a link as I don’t feel like doing the author a favor by giving her a bunch of unwarranted traffic.  I’ll briefly touch on each of her points and give my thoughts.  I’ve been saying for years … dating in America is a mess because of the games women play, this woman’s blog post only bolsters what I’ve been saying.

1) If you like someone, don’t pretend you don’t.

Gentlemen, how often are we the ones doing the pursuing? When was the last time a woman took the initiative and asked you out?  Women get off on the perceived power they have when being pursued … plain and simple.

2) Go on dates.  

It’s not for a lack of trying for us guys.  How many guys out there have had a date flake on them at the last minute?

3) Don’t use past relationships as a reason to avoid commitment.

Woman screws over and uses guy, he no longer wants commitment and vice versa.  This is one of her few points that could go either way, we’ve all compared current flings to our ex’s.

4) Don’t alter what you want.

Women don’t understand that men alter what they want when they start playing games.  We either walk away or put them on the back burner.

5) Stop caring about what others think.

My friends/family could care less who I’m dating as long as I’m happy, this must be a woman thing.

6) Quit using people.

I can’t recall the last time I accepted a date only because I wanted free drinks, food, entertainment, etc.  Outside of sex, what do men really use women for?  I like to think women are intelligent enough to realize when a relationship has turned purely physical.

7) Find out who people are.  

Well no shit … that’s kind of what dating is.

8) Have chivalry and respect in every way.  

Give me a break, how often has a woman been described as chivalrous? I believe in respect and the golden-rule but women are obsessed with being considered equals so why do they expect been to bend over backwards to kiss their asses?

9) Stop playing with other people’s emotions.  

This goes back to game playing, men are the one doing the pursuing, if we’re pursuing you we’re interested … quit making things difficult.

10) Stop settling.  

I actually agree with this one, pretty straight forward.

11) Don’t be afraid to be corny.

This ties into being yourself, again pretty straight forward.

12) Move slowly in terms of physical aspects.  

If two people are attracted to one another things are going to get physical.  Take your fairytale romance elsewhere, this is the real world.

13) You’re young and dating is about learning.

Haha all fine and dandy until you look in the mirror and all your friends are married.  I hope you enjoyed all that time you spent jumping from guy to guy!

 

The author also touches on a few other points but they’re just basic generalizations in terms of dating.  While I don’t think it’s a bad article it’s basically a cheap shot at what men can do to help women navigate the dating world.  I think too many women of dating-age are really expecting the Disney fairytale romance … this makes thing that much harder for us men.

What I Learned About Women Via Tinder

I’m sure you can figure it out from the title but I was recently sucked into the recent dating craze … Tinder!  If you’re living under a rock, Tinder is a mobile app that presents you with women (or men) based on your specified mileage radius and age range.  You land on someone’s profile (for lack of a better term) and you’re presented with a handful of pictures and a paragraph or two they may have entered about themselves.  What next, you ask.  Well, you then swipe them left or right, swipe them right and you have a chance to be matched up with them, swipe them left and you never see their profile again. The fun in all this is that you’re only allowed to chat with other users that also swiped right to your profile.  This is where things get exciting (or dreadful)!

Let me preface this post by saying I’m a man in my mid/late 20’s, I’m single, I’m gainfully employed, and I’m in very good shape and make a point to take care of myself.  I stand about 6’2 and weigh 215 lbs, I played football in college and continue to workout quite often.  I’ve had pretty solid success with women throughout my teenage years and throughout my 20’s; I’ve had a handful of long term relationships that fizzled out for whatever reasons and this eventually led to a few friends and I all deciding to give Tinder a try. I’ve now been using Tinder for about a month, allow me to tell you about this month.

I noticed a common theme when viewing women’s profiles on Tinder that can be summed up in the following way: I never realized how superficial women really are.  This obviously doesn’t apply to every profile I looked at but I couldn’t believe some of the stuff I was reading.  Many of the women make note of their height (there’s also a lot of tall women on Tinder) which in their brains is a very sly way of saying you must be this tall to ride this ride.  Men, don’t forget to add 3-4 inches for when they want to wear heels.  Ladies, just come out and say, ‘hey I enjoy wearing heels, if you’re not at least ‘this tall’ then I don’t see it working out’.  To you tall guys, don’t go thinking you’ve just hit the Tinder jackpot, most of the profiles I viewed stated this particular girl was ‘athletic’ (wearing yoga pants to Starbucks is apparently athletic now) and wouldn’t settle for anything less than a healthy, fit, athletic guy.  I tried giving the ladies the benefit of the doubt on this one but apparently they’re only interested in men that hit the genetic jackpot.

I soon noticed a common trend while swiping through pictures: group pic, group pic, group pic, group pic, etc.  Really? Remember ladies, we automatically assume you’re the ugliest one in the group which is what I refer to as the MUF (Mandatory Ugly Friend), every group has one.  These same girls who need an athletic and fit man are kind enough to let us play the ol’ guessing game. Group pics, that’s not so bad you’re saying … well it gets worse.  I then noticed too many profiles that were nothing but headshots.  You can’t see anything below the neck.  PSA to you females: when we see this we automatically assume you’re pushing 2 bills! Yes, we’re men, we’re visual creatures, but we’re not dumbasses.

Next, there’s the career woman on Tinder!  It must be my lucky day, I just got matched with a lawyer on Tinder!  Wrong … any of you ever dated a ‘career-woman’?  These women are always ‘SO SUPER-BUSY’ and MIGHT be able to make time for you if you play your cards right.  I had a 2 year relationship with a ‘career woman’ yet she was the perfect definition of DRAMA.  This woman was catty as can be, god forbid anyone else other than her received a promotion in her department.  The career-woman will peak in her early-mid 30’s so if you’re patient you’ll have no problem reeling this one in once the years have taken their toll. Guys, do yourselves a favor and skip this one!

Gentlemen, don’t all women claim they don’t want your typical ‘bro’, douche bag, meathead, etc?  Well, women are full of shit.  I have some pics of myself posted with my shirt off and I lost count of how many women commented on my physique then asked for my number … women are liars.  They’re just as visual as us guys.  Gentlemen, moving forward, wear clothes that properly fit your body.  If you haven’t done so already, read up on proper fit for pants, suits, etc.

In brief, women are just like us guys.  You get their attention with what’s on the surface; you hold their interest with your money and character.  Remember, above all else, you’re in control.